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Over The Yardarm: Treadwell Versus The Volcano

Tenny had to go and mention the volcano trek in St Kitts the last time he had a lovely chin-wag with you, didn’t he? He just couldn’t not mention that, could he? He knows it’s a sore spot, not just because we were nearly catatonic – my least favourite kind of tonic, I may add […]

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Over The Yardarm: It’s All Gone Horribly Right

We tend to avoid shore excursions, like the plague, in the same way we avoid gross generalisations and clichés. But sometimes they are a necessary evil. Treadwell tends to get huffy that her personal space is being invaded if someone just walks by the cabin, so having to spend several hours in a coach with […]

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Over The Yardarm: The Small Wonders

To look at a lot of the new tonnage hitting the waterways of the world these days, you’d think that most of the bally cruise lines are hooked on the old adage that says ‘The bigger, the better,’ and that truly is frightful nonsense. Yes, we understand ‘economies of scale’ and ‘high yields’ and even […]

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Over The Yardarm: The Luxury Gap

If there is one word that is usually guaranteed to shiver our timbers and get the Treadwell and Tenny household gnashing its nautical teeth in anguish, it is the one that is the most over-used in the whole cruising lexicon – and which should get people banned from ever writing about it again. Princess Cruises […]

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Over The Yardarm: A New Ship And A Good Book

A press release arrived on our sun-lounger this week. Well, not exactly the sun-lounger itself, but the tablet gizmo thingy that Treadwell has taken to using instead of the laptop. Frightfully useful gadget compared to lugging a 20lb steam-powered ‘portable computer’ around. Portable? Hah! If Hannibal had been equipped with them, he’d have needed a […]

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Reasons We Cruise - The Perfect Touch

Over The Yardarm: 10 Reasons WHY We Cruise

10 Reasons WHY We Cruise It’s a perennial refrain we hear at regular intervals from friends and acquaintances who simply don’t get it. There they are, laying on a beach in St Vincent, or Cannes, or, god forbid, Blackpool, and they have the nerve to ask us, “But why would you go on another cruise?” […]

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Over The Yardarm: A Not-So Magic Carpet Ride

A Not-So-Magic Carpet Ride They’re at it again, you know. No sooner do we turn our back on the modern cruise designers than they come up with some new devilry, otherwise known as a cruise ship gimmick. It seems like only a few weeks ago (it was – Ed.) that we were bemoaning the fact […]

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Over The Yardarm: This Is A Drill

This is a drill Our latest voyage hadn’t officially gotten under way and already I was distinctly warm under the collar. And not because of the Caribbean swelter. It was an hour to departure and there we were, shuffling along amid an orange-hued horde all jostling for a few square feet of their own on […]

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Over The Yardarm: From Here to Maternity

FROM HERE TO MATERNITY Tenny and I understand the appeal of a beach day, lounging with a drink in hand and paddling in the sea. But just occasionally the process of getting there can take an uncomfortable turn toward moral failure, like the time we boarded a tender for the 10-minute trip over to Grand […]

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Over The Yardarm: The Gimmick Trap

THE GIMMICK TRAP We were lazily perusing one of the latest cruise brochures from our eyrie on the Lido Deck (the promenade was just too darn drafty this week; plus the bar is nearer) when our eye caught something truly discombobulating. For those who remember the classic film, Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines, […]

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